Chards of Glass

All content & writing by Brad Jaeger © The NACHTKABARETT

 

 

April 28, 2000 - welcome back! once again we drag back into the world of the infiltration net kicking and screaming...who was it that said "fuck the internet"? we'll have to hunt him down and make him sit in blair witch project 2 chat rooms...we couldn't live with out you so we had to start yet again...we'll let someone else handle the t-shirts this time and we'll stick to the dumb jokes and, oh yeah, music...we hope that this new site offers more into that opaque concept album...you mean you haven't figured out who june is yet? You don't know the intimate details behind the gish lyrics conspiracy?...oh there is so much to see and be seen, if you know what I used to mean...so sit back and enjoy as this site becomes your re-official source for new rumors, humors, and unlocking the mysteries of MACHINA...we have so far to go...p.s. this site is a compliment to the wonderful fan sites that already exist on the pumpkins...we want you to go them for the ephemeral minutiae and we will stick to the big picture...lots of love from terry, jack, phil and samantha...the claptraps of gommorah!

 

 

May 7, 2000 - Sunrise, FL - hello from the sunshine state! last night was a gas...we had it all...rock people ...rich girls unleashed unknowingly on a sleepy public, to declare siren songs of domination...we let her loose because she is us and we are becoming her more and more in a half-life sense of the word...so as I write we prepare in dusty tomes for tonight's show...what is it going to be? maybe tonight is the night to let it all fall apart so it can be put together humpty dumpty style...we are lost in the wilderness of florida, sunstreaked and crying...is there anybody out there we declare in junk 50's poetry, and the slapback drums yes! yes! yes! cause we are way out there and we are coming to your town...or at least a mall near you...the story is being told I have to remind myself cause I forget that we are in it and the ending is not yet written...or is it in an envelope near you? check under your pillow cause you might find a yellowed tooth or maybe a band of gold or maybe just a plain old band...may god bless florida! it brings out the demon in me...ps. the next b-side is liberty and the epiphany machine, coming to a u.k. record shop near you backed with that song why try, try, try, and keep on trying...we ask ourselves that every single day in every single way...xo

 

 

May 9, 2000 - Atlanta, GA - if you hear the drummers drumming and hear this sound a coming...hello from atlanta georgia, we just got in and made it out barely alive from our trip to the sunshine state...everything was humming so let me thank everyone for great shows in miami and also last night in orlando...what can I tell you today?? my head hurts and I am dizzy from all the positivity! remember the good old days of pure unfocused angst?? anyway, discussions have begun for our next video which will be "try"...we may shoot it in L.A. in june or even possibly japan...time will tell but if we shoot in los angeles maybe some disgruntled fans can appear in the video as well dressed disgruntled fans...the poetry of this moment begs for something else but unfortunately I am at a rare loss for words (ha ha)...being at Disneyworld the other day made me think of a young pop singers who dream of toppling the dirty rock with white teeth and starry eyes! just so everyone knows, we always win in the end...long may we continue to speak the secret language of the moment, in sound and derision, with love and true heart...it is all too literal and there is so much to say... i disintegrate and reconnect...bye june, I'm going to the moon, I hope you'll be there too! tonight atlanta, tomorrow the world...again!! in love and fishes...

 

 

May 10, 2000 - Birmingham, AL - when I asked someone what the tabernacle was like in atlanta, they told me it was a shithole...well they we're wrong because not only was last nights show one of the best of the sacred and profane tour, but I thought that the place was beautiful and inspiring...the band always plays better when people are close up...sweat was dripping off the walls and you just knew you were in the right place...long live rock and roll! the upcoming b-side for the try single is changed, and will probably be "here's to the atom bomb" instead of "liberty in the crosshairs of time"...after our current american tour, we are going to go to japan for about 8 shows, australia for 4 or 5 shows, and then thru canada for the edge fest/summersault in august...we are hoping to then go to europe for a roughly 35-40 show tour, and then back to america for a final time (my guess would be 20 or so shows before christmas)...after that we want to go to mexico and south america and finally possibly south africa...after that we have a great surprise in store (don't bother asking cause I'm not going to tell)...remember that not everyone knows we are out here, and by that I mean band and fans...you have to vote (so to speak) and use your voice to help topple the current wave of pre-packaged smiles and fancy steps...so vote by calling your radio stations, vote by writing the magazines you read, vote even TRL so they know that we are out here...demand your music and voice to be heard...it doesn't even have to be us (the pumpkins) that you vote for but they can't possibly understand unless we all make a real racket...I can tell you that one of the biggest ways radio stations gauge what people like and are listening to is by the request calls that they get...I appreciate what everyone did with project 33 and trying to get a video on trl, but remember that boy band fans are voting everyday in every possible way...it is possible to make change if you believe...if we didn't believe we wou ld have broken up many years ago ...we love you, God bless, xoxo

 

 

May 12, 2000 - Dallas, TX - someone hands you a bottle that says vitamin e but really it contains vitamin x, as in used to be...the plot lines have changed so many times in so many ways I'm not sure just what part of the book I am in...chapters are written just as quickly as pages are discarded...has anyone mentioned to you that this all could be a ruse? a put on of the highest order, a conspiracy so thick that the participants are not even aware of their own roles, even though they speak the lines as written, drawing on the guns to fire flowers into your open mouths...we were forced to speak in code before for lack of recognition left us at the doorstep cold and unhappy, so what makes you think now is any different...one has to only take the temperature of the body to bear witness to the fact that the heart still beats alive, and as the monster awakens so to will the old ways of destruction and epiphany cracking...welcome back say the signs but we have never left, so play victim, cry foul, blame whomever whatever anytime, you cannot stop the rock from achieving it's ultimate goal of harmony and true resolution...we are in control...seek elsewhere and you will not find...we hold the key, and it may be you that cannot find the door...but alas the door has been open, so go, dust off your vinyl and peer between cracks well worn, there is a reason that meteorites keep moving until they hit something, only to shatter into a million pieces...I celebrate the earth, in mourning, in passing, in every single breath...I so desperately want all of it to work, for everyone to get what they need, to see what they need to see...blessed are the moments of celebration, where one recognizes the paradigm that things are the way they are for some unseen reason...we are all dying all the time, and life is to short to hold on to dreams that are no longer dreaming, words that have no meaning, feelings no longer feeling...xo

 

 

May 14, 2000 - Austin, TX - the rumors smear as we hang in time immemorial, faces becomes friends, and the miles fulfill the destiny that we began in a rusted silver van slipping on snowy chicago streets...punch drunk and dizzy from volume both swarmed and declared, I say hello and bid you adieu...coming and going faster by the minutes, the buzz of texas humidity fills the air...stark and inviting, dark and dangerous, every highway seems to head into infinity, the glare the ends of the earth pushing you back into a cool retreat...sorry to all in new orleans, we waved as we crept passed and promise to come by the end of the year...we haven't forgotten you and don't blame you if you forget us, for we are terrible children...do you wanna know the secrets, have you been following the plot...I must admit that I am amused that few have found the key to unlock the box...maybe the story must unfold for the obviousness of this particular theatre to reveal itself...I don't know, I guess I expect too much these days, especially after we survived that frightening millennium scare when everything was supposed to blow up...but no, everything is still here, the plastics are safe and the silicone rotting at it's pre-described rate...as we tighten our skin oh so ever tighter, seek and find our spirituality in droning talk shows, and blah blah ourselves straight to hell, I must say that it is an exciting time to be an artist...as the plates shift and the old ways topple, the true dogs will be remembered and become immortal in death as brave warriors who stood up to their time...it has melted right in our hands and maybe it is for the best...so mystery awaits in the future, cassettes mailed and bootlegged thru digital channels until the music blurs beyond commercial recognition, and the artist becomes his own keeper again...only in the supreme do we reserve the right of true judgment...the wildest west awaits..aaahooo!!! xo

 

 

May 18, 2000 - Phoenix, AZ -- to all in austin, thanks for one of the best shows on this tour of tours...up we rise faster and faster, to dizzying heights only to crash down into depths unseen...as our tour drags to an uncertain close, as we wipe our eyes of salty sweat, let us say that everyday is a good day, every moment pure and loving...boulder colorado with it's secrets murky and it's hippies begging hurled us headlong into an aging fieldhouse and the rock bade forth a swimming mass...salt lake found us on the cursed shores of it's namesake lake, a faded amusement park wrapping ghost around us...thanks salt lake for a great show! so we sit now in the desert, our hearts pointed soon west and la la land, san diego, home of chargers and pilots, and up the coast to where grunge began! to all in australia, I'm sorry to say that we are not now coming in july as previously thought, so maybe we will see you for the big day out...instead we will head back into the studio in july before going to canada and into (drumroll please) vh-1 storytellers...coming soon another chapter of glass and his synthetic army...coming soon some major announcements...coming soon the end of the world...just kidding! xo

 

 

May 20, 2000 - San Diego, CA -- can god be found in electricity? if there is a god, I know he likes to rock...will we find God in san diego?...if there is a god, I know she's watching me...when I stare into this screen it is not a matter of what to say but what not to say...expression is most ultimately limited by fear...my ideal state is to say whatever whenever as long as it rings true at that given moment...of course that also means that you must be prepared for an equal and measured response...but it is always possible that you do not always mean what you say, which in my case has never been a problem...and conversely not everyone responds with complete integrity...so what am I not saying by saying all of this? good question...what does this mean if it has no meaning?...what does glass feel if he has no feelings?...so who is glass? who was zero...who will be june...my reflection, dirty mirror, there's no connection to myself, I'm your lover, I was your zero, I am the face in your dreams of glass...those who dare to seek the answers hidden within the tightwound ribbons of machina need look no further...all signs point to each other...all words flow into one big song...as I have always said I have just written the same song over and over and therein may lie the blessing and curse...how does one find peace in towers made of glass? who dare seek answers when the comforts are laid bare and are always more that willing...a rare golden age has put stars in your eyes but there are no stars truly...a harmonic convergence of the highest order has changed all the rules...so who weeps in this time? no one but I... not for the past because it was beautiful, but for the future...in that we seem to stand alone...respect is faith...faith is all we have left...xo

 

 

May 23, 2000 - chards of glass/los angeles -- the clock ticks cause time waits for no man, woman, or band...our space has blurred into the infinite, moments frozen for the utter posterity, to disenchant, to revere...to the open air we raise our hands and praise all who have come before us, and bow our heads to all that will follow...we love you all, you can never truly know how much, at least not in this lifetime...pause and take your eyes forward, stop seeing what you wish to see and for a moment see what is...the cities collapse, the kids shout more, more, more, a culture candied and wasted, the music is out of tune...who are you and where do you fit in?...what if I was to say you don't, and you never have and never will...if you are reading this I am in some sense preaching to the converted, but that really doesn't change much at all...we are forever outcasts, and our code and course is secret but always true...hey how about you??...and now for the good news...we are blessed to be alive, we are blessed to have survived...life IS good, for even in the greatest of challenges lie brilliant sunshine, the people we lose never really leave, the moments forgotten stored into that high definition brain to be replayed ceaselessly and at will...the point in amongst all this verbage is that nothing is lost...it is...it is as simple as that...rock on! xo

 

 

May 30, 2000 - chards of glass/portland -- rat tat tat, ka boom, boom...did somebody hear something? thanks to all for memories to last lifetimes...you have stained our souls with rock and iodine...we are not weary so much as resigned to fate's sealed kiss...we love you, never forget...this tour was a blast, a real humdinger...you had to be there and if you were we hope it moved you an inch...until we meet again in some other country we wave hello and goodbye...it sure rains a lot wherever we seem to go...coming next, part 3 of glass and his synthetic army...peer hard children because the mystery is unraveling more quickly than I thought it could...so if it is the end of the usa...so be it...if it isn't, well there are plenty of surprizes ahead so look out and wash your feet, and your mouths are as filthy as mine...xo

 

 

June 25, 2000 - chards of glass/Fukuoka Japan -- crackle crackle, is this thing on...hello space rangers, back from the dead for more...here we is in japan and boy are we having a good time...every successive album has been better and better received here, so we send a big thank you to all of our japanese fans around the world...so far we have played 3 shows...sendai, yokohama, and hiroshima, and tonight we take on fukuoka...we transmit our good thoughts to all of you out there somewhere...when we finalize the european dates we will post them as soon as we can, cause I know some are starting to go on sale now...so don't forget that seeing as it is your last dash chance to see us, you don't want to miss it...also I'm starting to see copies of the vinyl version of the album, which of course contains glass and the machines part 2, so grab them while you can because the record company usually only makes about 10,000...is the story any clearer, probably not considering the way I used to write...so enjoy the tangents, hold onto the strings, there are more surprises to come...for anyone who dares to care, we are going into the studio in july to complete some of the extra special machina tracks...so beware!!! talk to you soon xo

 

 

July 4, 2000 - chards of glass/somewhere between tokyo and seoul -- hello children, starseekers, mystics, clowns, predators and nymphs, howareyouiamfinethanks! first let me amble to you that I am sorry I have not communicated more as of late...after the deeply emotional sendoff of what was possibly our last ever show in america (not!) I retreated my person into andalusia to find tango and flamenco and spanish beauty much sought after in the midwest...after tripping through our new video shoot in london I zipped to tokyo brightly and did not have a computer the whole time...even now as I write this on someones faded powerbook (who I believe used to chair a kiddieporn startup) I regret the omission of my oh so important cloying barbarianisms to the fitful faitful and the frail faithless...our tour of japan was a huge success, the biggest we have ever had, so we send our heartfelt thanks out to all the fans who came to the shows, many traveling by bullet train to see multiple dates...we are humbled by the grace of you...we hoped to repay a little back last night by playing a two-set show, the first acoustic and the second a full electric set...arigato gazimas nippon!...what else can I tell you? jonas akerlund directs the new video (try try try) with filming having been done in london and stockholm...we aren't very bright...all prophecies thus far have come true...we are going to korea for the first and last time and are looking forward to play a place that as recently as 1995 banned our records...it should be interesting as it is always an honor to meet fans in a country none of us have ever been to...the demotion of evil continues to move forward on this humble planet, and it is a good thing...the children of this new world, their dna unscrambled to be explained, will hopefully never tolerate the stupidity of generation present and past...may the joy and innocence of youth transform this place holy, and let no tear be shed for we are all responsible, to take credit and blame.. .traveling this earth as we do, we are lucky to play part and witness how the western conception of the world, with it's mcdonalds materialism, doesn't mean so much as family, life, and tradition...may the truth echo in your ears like it does mine...yes, only love will win...it always does...xo

 

 

July 15, 2000 - Recording Studio...Chicago, IL -- buried deep inside some altar of noize I write to you a desperate man...my star is fading and I do not know what to do...I stare at the track sheets and wonder where the magic went...I feel it all crashing down upon me...oh woe is i...how are you?...I am sure by now that you have deciphered all the deep alchemical codes of machina and have now moved on to some 8th generation alt-rap-metal hybrid bands new disc and are peering deep into the meanings there too...shit! I had it all so planned out and curses I have been foiled...I guess all those things they said about us and especially yours truly bill/glass/zero/jackboot7 are true...I can't tell you how sad this makes me...to compensate I have written a batch of songs so sad they are almost happy if you know what I mean...isn't the planet supposed to end with all this millenial paranoia...but wait there is a light...and maybe even a plan or too...must finish machina soon or will perish like tangerines...takus carus allus ovus youse...xo

 

 

July 17, 2000 - Making Music In Chicago -- happy to report that there are some 10-14 tracks that are in some sort of shape or another...it's sometimes hard to jog the memory of what we were thinking or doing at any given moment because some of these songs haven't been worked on in over a year...but now is the right time because after the band splits it is not the kind of thing you want to try to finish in 10 years or so when we go ahead and put out that penultimate box set...so we blow the dust off the guitars and tune up rusty strings and try to make some more emotionless music...er, I mean heartfelt and deep music that is obviously emotional...what else do you want to know...I can tell you that if you want to solve a puzzle you must first understand the point of the puzzle...so what is the point of this puzzle...to confuse? enlighten? enrage? or just titillate...or could it just be for fun, because to save one's soul you must first learn how to laugh...please understand that I am laughing, not at you, but with you, and I certainly am laughing at myself, so please put your hearts together and laugh with me...I put a little sunshine here between the cracks so you can see that you are inside a box...I of course am trapped in the box you stare at and cannot leave...admission is free to all those that are...(drumroll please)...free!...oh and another thing or two...please check out pumpkins radio which has been carefully collected to draw you deeper...there is also another chapter of the friends and enemies of modern music featuring glass and the machines of god floating around in space somewhere and I will try to wrench it out to you soon...I know you just cannot wait! with the same baited breath that I had when I cared, er or when I dared, or shall I say when I was wuzing my way across the crossings...tracks laid bare for all to laugh at...so you see it really is all a joke, but the joke is not on you or me but probably them, I suppose...but I can't say for sure...till then s. r.'s...
xo

 

 

July 25 2000 - chi-town mojo blues-haze -- with only a limited time remaining, the tapes are still flying...some tapes are in such poor condition that we are cooking 'em up in the oven, but hey the music is still cool...the sun is shining outside but the florescent lights almost do the trick, plus we have the orgone meters set to full so we look almost real...soon we start gearing up for the summersalt tour in canada dry, and I suppose we might actually rehearse for a change so get your signs requesting towers of rabble and soma ready cause we can still read...after that comes the taping of vh-1 storytellers which of course will be full of lies because no one certainly knows what these songs are about, certainly not the singer...we have begun to prepare for the storytellers by finishing the much rumored jack-o-lantern suite, almost 8 1/2 years in the making...the story of the writing of the suite could probably take up the entire hour of the program, between telling the story of meeting the indian sage, the missoula mystic, and the tuscaloosa titan in the barrelhouse barn and finding a rusty guitar in a corner...my fingers just bled until I found the right notes, but I'll save all that for the taping...hope to see you there...

 

 

July 27 2000 - in a world war 2 bunker -- tick-tock the rumours are flying flick-flack but who knows the windpipe cracked and that nobody gives a rat's ass piddle-dum-tweedle-see I told you but nobody would listen all you hear is a lot of wishin soot-soot-beedle-bum and now I'm down in the land of swan song and world war gunners reading racy novels to kill the time-time gotta keep it off my mind-mind so let the games begin or did they already start-start to become annoying boy you gotta-getta a problem mister but I am queer as a 5 legged steer-fear-seer says the fisherman just fishin for wishes and pretty girls da-da-dum-dum it's just that all my wishes are not yours but many of yours are mine but it's all good-good-good smiles from ear to ear don't get lost in the maze of haze and purple smoke cause it's a psychadelic shack of love and muzak hold your breath it's comiing soon but not how you imagine in june-june did somebody say it was july?...poppa ow mow mow (look it up!)...xo