It was his birthday. They said I looked depressed.
Another day I let slip through my fingers.
I contemplated how I'd fuck it up later
No, I was seriously just kidding myself
I thought about the white not black. The spaces that I lacked. or....
He pretended to pay for my tab. 15 dollars or more
And then I walked back while he followed me up the road
To tell me I deserved to live not die
Like a movie....but not one I could even write
"Snitch!" The students yelled. It was me.
But what do you do, when the police confront you?
Rudy says that it was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason....
(so why did I accidentally call my dad when Rudy was giving me his number?
How did that happen? It must've meant something....
But my dad was worried. He said he heard the conversation
he didn't say to stay away...he just said "He sounded concerned")
I admit that I've been burned
On thursday they searched my room, and took me to the police station.
Confined me in a room and interrogated me about who sold me----
and it came tumbling out like all the prescription pills....
That I'm vowing to no longer take. They say "you're empty"
I'm no Sylvia Plath, and ovens are not cool to me.
And people can tell when I'm baked.
You get too lost in yourself, too vain, and your veins run dry.
I'll never take drugs again...20 people are my enemy.
I left the bar at about 11 pm. And Rudy (Real name Roger) ran after me
He caught up and caught his breath and he's 15 years older than I
He told me, never give up....because he thought I was going to
Kill myself? Well when people harass you so much
You'd like to do it sometimes, but I'm someone else
And I don't kill myself because of what people say or do.
They can laugh, make fun of me. They deserve their punishments
And I'm glad they're in trouble because they don't deserve
My sticking up for them....when it's 3 am again and I'm awake
Stuck with too much hell on my plate
Attempted murder, acid, alcohol, pot, suicide,
I'll skip out on the ride. What's on the inside?
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